Soar (The Immortal Chronicles Book 3)

  Soar

  The Immortal Chronicles #3

  Copyright © 2017 by Sloane Murphy

  Published by Dedicated Ink Publishing

  www.authorsloanemurphy.com

  Cover Design by Steam Power Studios | Edited by Katie John | Formatted by Sloane Murphy

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.

  This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it wasn’t purchased for your use only, then please return to your favourite book retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  All rights reserved.

  Except as permitted under S.I No 337/2011 European Communities (Electronic Communications Networks and Services) (Universal Service and Users Rights) Regulations 2011, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via other means without the permission of a publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorised electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of various products referred to in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorised, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Soar/Sloane Murphy – 1st ed.

  ISBN-13 - 978-0-9957402-2-8 | ISBN-10 - 0995740224

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  To all those who have lost their way.

  May you find the strength to find a new path.

  “Do not fear the thing before you.

  Fear the thing that created it instead.”

  ~Nikita Gill

  I never thought it would come to this; that each of those moments – the happy, the sad, the good and the bad - would build up to me being here, in this moment, and having to say goodbye to someone I never expected to have such an impact on my life.

  I’ve said the word ‘goodbye’ too much in the last year, and now, knowing all I know, I fear I will be saying it for a long time to come.

  I was useless at arranging this funeral for him. It made me realise just how little I knew about him; about how little I learnt about his past, and how small a piece of time I had with him compared to some of the people surrounding me. At times, I’ve almost felt guilty about the magnitude of my despair, but I only got him for such a short time and I feel cheated that he was taken from me so soon.

  Dimitri has been a god send this week, he and Kaden joined forces with Kas to prepare everything. They contacted Xanders’ friends and managed to co-ordinate everyone to be here today in order to say our final goodbyes.

  I stand back and watch, unable to move as Dimitri, Kaden, Kas, Gunner, Zero and Marcus walk Xanders’ body between the aisles of people. Tears fall down my face but I do nothing to hide them. The love of my life is gone. I shall never see his smile, his face again; never feel the softness of his lips on mine or hear that special laugh that was reserved just for me. He is gone, and I lost myself right along with him.

  I watch as they each turn to each other. The Fallen are among them and they unfurl their wings in order to carry him to the top of the pyre. The stoic looks on each of their faces are a mask, hiding the pain I know they each feel inside. If it’s even a tenth of the raging agony that burns through me, I know how hard it is for them to keep that mask in place.

  All except Kaden lower themselves back down to the ground, joining Kas before coming to stand beside me in the front row. Dimitri takes my hand in his, squeezing it and I squeeze back. It’s all I can manage. I’m waiting for the pianist to finish her haunting melody and for Kaden to say something, even though the words are most likely going to destroy me.

  “Friends. Loved ones. Family,” he says. “It is an honour, a privilege, and a great sadness for me to pay tribute today to a very special person who touched and blessed us all in different ways, my big brother…” Kaden’s voice cracks and he pauses for a moment, turning his eyes to the sky. “My brother was taken from us too soon. He lived his life to the full and touched so many people during his time here. Xander meant so many different things to so many different people. He was a friend, a confidant, a warrior, a lover” Kaden’s eyes fall to me and I can barely hold the scream of pain, “He was a person you could depend on. A leader. He was loyal to his core, and he could forgive even those who had wronged him in the worst imaginable ways. I know each of us will remember him differently, but I will always think of him as my big brother; the man who saved my life more times than I can count. He was the man who looked past our differences, past my indiscretions, and loved me despite them, even when I made it almost impossible. I had only just re-united with him after too long a time apart. I will regret that distance that fell between us for the rest of my time. So, brother, hear me when I say, I cannot bring myself to say goodbye so for now, I will say adieu.”

  It's only been a week; just seven days without Xander, but it already feels like eternity. I can’t get away from the burning pain. He haunts my thoughts, the knowledge that his death is my fault, paralyses me. I watch on, frozen with grief as Kaden walks towards me and Kas puts the torch to the bottom of the pyre. As Kaden puts his arms around me, he breaks. The sobs take over his body as the flames lick up the pyre, sending Xander to his final resting place. It’s all I can do to stay standing. I open my mouth to speak, but a sob rips out and my legs give way. Kaden falls with me and we sit curled into each other, crying for the man we had too little time with.

  Time passes and I’m vaguely aware of the people moving around but our attention is captivated by the flames. As much as we cannot bear to look, neither of us can turn away. We watch until there is nothing left but a pile of ash and burning embers.

  “Kaden?” Michael says softly. “You need to get up,” he coaxes. Kaden is rigid. His jaw set with anger.

  “Kaden,” I whisper, looking up at him. It takes a minute before he looks at me, and when he does, I see all the pain and burning anger. His monster is simmering just beneath the surface, and he’s only just containing it. “Kaden, we should go inside,” I say.

  His eyes close for a moment and I give him a moment to collect himself. Dimitri puts a hand out for me and I take a deep breath as I pull myself up. Celeste is leaning on Michael and Rose is wrapped in Benny’s arms. I feel needles sting my heart; I miss Xander so much. It all feels so raw, like my nerve endings are open. It’s all too much. I watch after Kaden as he stalks off into the distance.

  Pain flits across Dimitri’s face. Dimitri has always been there for me, through everything, but right now I need to be alone.


  “I’m sorry.” I say. My voice is husky and my throat dry from all of the crying. I walk towards the main building of the reservation and make my way inside the hall, up the stairs, to Xander’s room.

  The pillows smell like him; his things are still strewn across the room as if he’s going to return any minute. His leather jacket hangs on the back of a chair and his black boots sit beside the dresser. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he’d just gone to grab a drink before coming back to me. I close the door behind me, leaning back on it before sliding to the floor. If I close my eyes, I can almost imagine he’s asleep on the bed, quiet, but here. The peace I feel in those fleeting moments is almost worth the heart wrenching pain that rips through me when reality settles, but I can’t stop myself from pretending in those moments.

  I crawl over to the bed and get on it, pulling the borrowed black funeral dress over my head and putting on Xanders' black t-shirt before curling up. The smell of him is starting to fade because I’ve been in here so much, but the thought of being anywhere else is more than I can bear. When I close my eyes I think of the man who loved me more than anyone else ever did. Drifting in and out of sleep, I swear I can feel his arms wrapped around me, cocooning me in his love but when I wake, the cold starkness of my reality hits me. He’s really gone, and he’s not coming back.

  In every scenario I played out whilst I was Cole’s prisoner, Xander was stood beside me, through everything. He was my constant. We had only just begun and we still had so much to do, to learn, to explore, and now, that’s all gone. I have no idea where to go from here, and it’s all my fault. It’s my fault he’s gone, my fault everyone else is hurting. The guilt weighs down on me, suffocating me, and I feel the panic sink in and take a hold of me. I try to breathe, but it feels like a lead weight is pressing down on my chest. I can’t move. I try to scream, something, anything, but nothing comes out. For a second I feel bliss hidden in my panic for maybe I’ll stop breathing and then I’ll be with him again.

  There’s a crunch, a splintering of wood, and then arms wrap tightly around me.

  “You’re going to be okay, Addie. Come on, breathe for me. He wouldn’t want you to hurt like this. Breathe.” The words filter through the fog surrounding my brain, and the pressure of arms around me loosens the weight on my chest. I suck in a lungful of air and realise he broke down the door to get in here.

  “It’s going to be okay, Addie. We’re going to be okay,” Kaden whispers. That’s when I realise Kaden has saved me from myself, and whilst I know I should feel weird about Xander’s brother being in my bed, I can't find the strength to care.

  I never meant for any of this to happen, and I definitely didn't mean to end up in Addie's bed with her wrapped in my arms. Yet, I can't see the point in worrying about any of it. I thought I had forever, but recent events have shown me that nothing is infinite. I've never been one to hold back, to not go after the things I wanted, but Addie is different. She belonged to Xander, and even though he's gone, I know he still holds her heart. She will belong to him for a long time yet.

  I'm selfish, I'm spontaneous, and I can be totally self-centred but I'm loyal to those I care about, and just like all Fallen, I love deeply, because when we truly fall in love, that is it for us. Yes, we can love more than once, but that epic, breath-taking, world stopping love – that’s a one-time thing. Once we find the other half of ourselves, it is rare we ever feel that again. I know the chances of Addie loving me the way she loved my brother are slim, but I can't give up hope that she'll be the exception. She is in every other way.

  Staring at her, I find my pain lessens. That’s why I came here. I was drowning in my own despair. I needed saving. But, when I heard Addie stop breathing, I knew I had to save her. I was the one who needed to be strong. And, once I saw her, the pain dulled. Suddenly, it didn't consume every corner of my soul. So, like the selfish bastard I am, I climbed into bed with her.

  I didn’t touch her; I just watched her as she slept. That was until she started flailing around again. She was screaming, and then suddenly, she wasn't breathing. I pulled her into me and squeezed her tightly so she knew she wasn't alone. I promised that I'd never leave her, and I mean it.

  Just thinking Xander’s name makes my heart burn. We wasted so much time being angry at each other, fighting, being on opposite sides of this ridiculous war, all for nothing. Elaihn – the sister I once knew, would have been furious at me for holding her death against Xander, but now it seems she's likely alive. I don't know that I've even had time to process that fully yet, it still doesn’t feel quite real. I have no idea where she is? There’s a chance that Cole’s death has endangered her.

  Thoughts jumble in my head, whirring around, making any actual thought pattern impossible. I close my eyes and pull Addie further to my chest, breathing her in. Eventually, I fall asleep to the sound of her beating heart.

  A knock on what’s left of the door stirs me from my sleep, and I wake with a weight on my chest that shouldn't be there. I slowly open my eyes and realise Addie is still curled up on me. A smile haunts my lips. The knock goes again and I move gently so as not to disturb her before I walk to the door and yank it open.

  I see the look on Dimitri's face and roll my eyes. “What?" I whisper harshly. "Don't get your panties in a bunch – she was having nightmares all bloody night and when I came in, she was having a panic attack, so take your judging looks to someone who gives a damn."

  "Calm your shit, Kaden. I came to check on her and found you here. With your history, can you really question my speculation?” he asks with a voice full of accusation. My anger grows. How dare he?

  "About me, no - I'm a dick, but not her; Addie doesn't deserve your judgement. She's not like that and you should know better." The door is beginning to falter under my raging grasp. I release it and cross my arms across my chest, trying to smother my anger. He realises what he's done and he scrubs his hand down his face.

  "You're right. It’s just been a rough few days and I've barely slept. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'll come back later. Just let her know I came to see her."

  I can see the strain on his face; the weariness, the toll of the past few days and my anger dissipates, knowing he has lost a brother, too.

  "Don't worry about it, man. I'll tell her you stopped by, and I'll see you all in a bit."

  "Sure thing. The Elite and I are heading back to the Academy tomorrow, then back to the House to try and make sense of what happens next to House Bane. You know Xander always meant for you to be his second..."

  "I'm not that guy, Dimitri. Xander was the good guy, the leader. He was the responsible one. I'm not right for it, I'll just mess it up – like always." I say.

  I know it was the plan before, but that was a very long time ago. Like once upon a time ago. I don't think Xander would want me filling his shoes, in any way, shape, or form, and just like that, guilt washes over me about Addie. I shouldn't be here – I shouldn’t have been with her like I was. It’s not my place to comfort her. It should have been Xander’s.

  "Come on,” I say, following Dimitri out of the room, “Let’s go and get breakfast. Addie needs to sleep."

  I close the door behind me, walking beside him down to the kitchen diner. I’m met by a table full of people all staring at me.

  "No time to put on a shirt this morning hey, Kaden?" Celeste mocks in that default way she does. I know she's trying to be normal in abnormal circumstances, and I'm thankful for it.

  "Seriously, man, put it away.” Michael jokes. “You make the rest of us look like mere mortals." He throws me a white vest top which I put on and pull down to the band of my sweat pants.

  "Better?" I ask, not able to stop the laugh that follows.

  And just like that, the atmosphere in the room is lighter. I make myself a plate of bacon and eggs, and grab a glass of blood from the heated bottles lined up on the counter before sitting at the table and listening to everyone around me making small talk.

  "My parents are dragging me
back to England with them,” Rose says. “Apparently, a Princess has duties to do. I want to stay here with Addie though, I'm worried," She sits down next to Benny.

  "We're all heading back to the Academy; Addie isn't going to be alone." Dimitri says, gesturing to the rest of Xander’s Elite.

  "Who says I want to go back there?" Addie says quietly from the doorway. I stand up out of old-school manners. She shakes her head ever so slightly, but enough so I get the point and sit back down before raising curious looks from around the table.

  "Addie... I just assumed you'd want to come with us." Dimitri answers.

  "I can't go back there, Dimitri. Not now... not now that he's gone. There's just too much history there,” she whispers, hugging herself tightly. It kills me to stay seated. The once fierce warrior, the girl who faced me down and put me in my place, is replaced by a meek mouse, and it’s almost more than I can bear.

  "I can't go back ho... to the cottage, either," she says, her voice wobbling.

  Michael stands and walks over to her, tucking her under his shoulder. "You can come back to the mansion with us, sweetie. I'm sure Kaden doesn’t mind, do you, Kaden?"

  "Of course not. You're always welcome at my home, Addie."

  "Thank you."

  Michael ushers her to the table and makes her sit before getting her a plate of food and a glass of blood. He places it down in front of her and she pales even more as if the realisation of what she now is has only just occurred to her.

  "Then it’s settled," I say. "You'll come with us. I think everyone is leaving either today or tomorrow. We'll go as soon as you're ready."

  Looking around the room, I notice how bare it is now I’ve packed the few things Xander brought here with him when he arrived a few weeks ago. The pain that burns through me as I look at his belongings is a reminder that it’s my fault Xander’s gone. It’s something I will have to live with forever.